Christmas Gifts

In values class the other day, the girls were asked to write down "My Greatest Gift for Myself this Christmas." I never fail to be amazed at the things they write, and as a gift to you, I hope you will enjoy reading a few of the gifts our girls are most thankful for.

"I learned how to spell, and I'm so thankful to the Lord, because if I was not here at MRH, I would not have learned how to spell words or been able to attend the classes here at MRH; those are the greatest gifts I've received this Christmas."

"My greatest gift for myself is that I've learned how to be careful with the way I talk to others and because of that I don't have any enemies anymore. Also, I've been able to know God and I really feel like I'm following him and I can carry my problems now."

"I don't feel sad anymore being away from my family or away from my home, and I'm thankful that I was brought here to MRH because we learned good manners and also how to take care of ourselves. I'm also thankful to God for saving me and I'm happy because I learned here for the first time how to open a Bible."

"The greatest gift that came to me is that I was already able to talk about everything I've been hiding, and God gave me strength to talk about everything I've done and all my experiences, and I don't feel shame in talking about it even though it's very dirty and even though my past was so very ugly. And I'm so happy that the person I told about my past doesn't feel dirty towards me and didn't change the way that they treated me. That's the greatest gift that's been given to me." 


"My attitude has changed, and I'm not like I was before, and I'm so proud of myself because I learned how to change my attitude."

"Every single day I get to know God while I'm at MRH, before in my house, I say thank you to God every day, but I'm thankful to be here because I like hearing and listening to God's words and I wasn't able to do that before."

"My greatest gift this Christmas is to be part of MRH and I'm so happy here because I've changed and I know how to handle my problems and my trials now. I'm so happy because I have a true family now. I know that MRH will protect me and they will not let me go to the bad person. If I go home and I'm with my true family, I know they will not protect me. That's why I'm so thankful to be part of MRH. This is my greatest gift to myself this Christmas: to be happy."

"I'm happy for myself and my child because of the many gifts we've been given like clothes."

From us to you, THANK YOU, for allowing us to give such good gifts to our girls.

www.myrefugehouse.com

Bravery

I watched a girl, one of the bravest girls I've ever met, stand up in a court room full of people, point her finger at her trafficker with a loud, unwavering voice and say "Him." 

She had been asked to point out her perpetrators. A husband and wife couple who had taken advantage of her, and countless others before her. And because she has turned 18 between the date she was rescued and her court date, she was standing in a room full of on-lookers, with the opposing lawyer standing at the back of her, calling out questions and raising objections every few minutes. 

Local court room office

Court scenes are far from perfect anywhere, but in the Philippines they often seem even less so. Rooms full of cases lined up and presented one after another. Piles and piles of files and papers laying everywhere. Schedules delayed by late judges, witness or even defendants who don't show up or lawyers who just haven't had time to talk to their defendant. Translators who question the girl and the validity of their own translation, and judges whose plates are so full that they just don't have sufficient time to hear every case, and often hurry the witnesses along in an effort to finish. 

Cebu Capitol Building

But my heart soared with pride when this girl, who we've had the privilege to get to know and shelter from the threats of her notorious trafficker, pointed her finger and held her head high. My heart soared when she told us, a few days previous, how determined she was to fight the case, because she didn't want anyone else to have to go through what she had been through. She didn't want anyone else to experience the fear and anxiety, the abuse that she had lived through, first as a victim of trafficking, and then as one who had to seek safety in a witness protection program because of the on-going threats she recieved. My heart soared with thanksgiving for the bravery of this girl, and the opportunity to help her fight. 

Thank you to everyone who supports us, for giving her the opportunity to fight. 

Please continue to pray for her and the the others in our care who are fighting cases and standing up against those who have wronged them. 

Finally Home

A few weeks ago, we had the privilege of reuniting one of our girls with her family.

Supported by friends who understand what she's been through.

The hope for all of our girls, is that they will be able to eventually be reunited with supportive family.  As you can imagine, this is not always the case. When the girls have been victims of trafficking, there are times when family members have been the ones to encourage them or pressure them into vulnerable situations. There are times when family members are abusive or have too many mouths to feed and aren’t able to adequately support the girls. And some of our girls come from families who have sexually abused or raped them, and their homes are no longer safe places to return.

But a few weeks ago, one of our girls did get to go home.

Jane, letting go of her past.

Jane* was raped by her uncle a few years ago. She bravely decided to fight a court case against him, and in doing so, turned many of her family members against her. Most of her family urged her to drop the case, in fear that her uncle would stop providing financial support, or worse, make good on his threats to hurt her and anyone who attempted to help her.

Jane was living with her uncle for a few years, and he was sponsoring her education. Jane’s father lived nearby but was addicted to drugs and couldn’t hold down a stable job. Because of that he couldn’t afford to put her through school. Jane’s mother and father have been separated since she was a baby, and Jane had stayed with her father, while her mother had moved to Manila. Jane had not seen her mother since she was a toddler.

At the age of 16, Jane was still in 6^th grade because of the financial hardships of her family. It was that year that her uncle raped her. She became withdrawn and quiet in class, and her teacher asked her what was wrong. She confessed what had happened to her teacher, and her life began to take a turn for the worse. Her father turned against her, her siblings turned against her, everyone was angry at her for “making trouble.” She was referred to a government shelter for her protection.

Jane, surrounded by the other girls praying for her. 

When she was at the government shelter, her uncle and his supporters would drive by and shout threats at her, trying to scare her and demanding that she stop the case. They had the case down-graded by the court to a lesser charge and even reconstructed their house so that the evidence that Jane brought to the trial would be irrelevant. The government shelter has a policy that all girls must be kicked out at age 18, so Jane’s only supportive sister took her in at that time. But they were all fearful of her uncle, because he continued to threaten them. In desperation, Jane went back to the shelter, but they could not take her in. So they called us.

A few weeks after Jane was admitted her, she experienced severe stomach pain. She was taken to the hospital and immediately rushed into surgery for appendicitis! We are so thankful to have been able to provide that care for her. Her state social worker repeatedly told us how thankful she was that Jane was in our care, because most likely the government shelter would not have been able to pay for a surgery of that nature.

Singing the praise songs Jane picked out for her "funeral."

While Jane was in our care, she was able to work on some goals that she developed for herself. Her goals were to find ways to respond to her anger less aggressively, to decrease her negative thoughts about herself, and to improve her leadership skills. When we asked her how she would rate herself on those goals, she gave herself scores of 10/10, 9/10, and 10/10! She said that the support and care of the staff, and the skills that were taught here at MRH were very helpful to her, and because of them she was able to learn and grow in ways that she hadn’t been able to do at the other center.

Jane continued to suffer from minor medical complications in the months following her appendectomy. She also wrestled with the very big question of what to do about her case. No girl should ever be forced to make a decision like that, but she was the only one who could make it. Should she continue to fight a case, subjecting herself to the threats and ridicules that came with it, when the charges were now so minimal that any sentence granted would seem a slap in the face? Or should she continue to fight, no matter the cost?

Jane fought for a very long time.  For over two years she fought and saw the trial go from bad to worse. In the end, she decided that she wanted to leave it all behind, the trial, her father’s side of the family, Cebu, everything. She wanted to start over and look forward again to a hopeful future. Thankfully, when we contacted her mother, she wanted the same thing for Jane.

Jane, being added in her "funeral" by MRH's social worker.

On her last day at our house, we asked her if she wanted to have a funeral for her past life. She agreed wholeheartedly. She wrote down all the things that had plagued her and hurt her and confused her in the past years, took all of her journals and everything that reminded her of her past life, and burned them and buried the ashes in our yard. You can see the pictures below of this ceremony. The other girls and staff are in the background, singing a few praise songs that she requested for the occasion.

When Jane was taken home, her mother and half siblings were extremely supportive and even said if Jane wanted to keep fighting, they would find a way for her to get to the trial. They are also planning to send her back to school at the beginning of the new school year. Life is finally beginning to look hopeful again for Jane, and she’s so thankful to be reunited with a supportive and safe family.  Her past has been left at our home, safely buried away, and her new life has only just begun. 

Letting go, once and for all.