Wednesday, October 19, 2011

(The Beginning of) Allison's story

Survivors of sexual exploitation are often, understandably, very critical of their appearance. Many of them have been forced to survive in a culture that criticizes every part of their appearance, always demanding them to look better or to change in some way so they will be more "appealing." On top of that, many of these young girls were told similar lies of not being good enough, or pretty enough by their loved ones, and so when the pimps speak those words, they have no choice but to believe they are speaking truth.

One of the girls living in our home, Allison*, shares this story. Allison is the youngest of five children, and when her mother learned she was pregnant with Allison, she tried to abort her (most likely using drugs). Allison grew up in a broken family, and spent most of her growing up years with her father, who was extremely abusive and neglectful. He was an alcoholic and a drug addict and eventually died of a failed liver. Allison's mother has a job as a maid and earns only 30$ per month to care for her children, and it's never enough to meet their needs.

At the age of 14, Allison's father died and she moved back with her mother. Although Allison was already a couple of years behind in her school advancement, her mother asked her to drop out of school because she couldn't pay for her in addition to her nieces and nephews, who were already enrolled.Allison is a leader with a vibrant personality and a beautiful smile, and soon sought the love that she needed from boys. She didn't get along with girls and her mother and sisters thought she was being sexually permiscious and would call her a bad names and accuse her of being a "slut" and a prostitute. She would deny the accusations, but no matter what she said they never believed her.

At the age of 15, Allison met a girl who easily coerced her to engage in sexual services. She said that since her family already thought she was a prostitute, she might as well be one. She was given only 10$ per customer in exchange for those services. Allison was even further shunned from her family who told her she was worthless and shameful when they found out. Obviously, this criticism was not what she needed to escape.

Allison is now 16, but because of her age and her extreme vulnerability, this case is considered a trafficking case. Under Philippine law, she is considered a minor and because of her young vulnerability, thankfully, there are consequences for taking advantage of her. The "bar" where she worked was raided by police in July 2011 and she was brought to My Refuge House shortly after.

When Allison arrived she was angry and often contemplating running away, but she didn't want to go back home. She had given up on going to school and was convinced that being a prostitute was all she could ever do. She would easily get upset at someone, even if she just thought they were talking about her or making fun of her. She was so self conscious of her appearance that every comment about looks, whether pointed at her or not, would make her angry, because she would assume it was about her.


In just the few short months since Allison arrived, with the encouragement of our trained staff, she has grown in remarkable ways. She has begun to find things about herself, even her appearance, that she appreciates. She has become a leader in her "family" and the smile on her face has become almost instant and radiant. She rarely gets upset now, and when she does, she usually finds someone to talk to instead of shouting or punching the cement walls like she used to. Almost every day, one of the staff comments about how much she has grown and improved. She's not the same girl she was a few months ago.

MRH has been able to provide Allison the education she was forced to give up and she is wholeheartedly participating in her studies. She has also decided to pursue culinary arts because she loves to cook.  Allison suffered from many medical complications due to the work that she engaged in, and MRH was able to give her the care she needed for that. Most importantly though, MRH has given her a safe, loving home, where she feels supported and cared for, for the first time.



*name changed to protect participant