Finally Home

A few weeks ago, we had the privilege of reuniting one of our girls with her family.

Supported by friends who understand what she's been through.

The hope for all of our girls, is that they will be able to eventually be reunited with supportive family.  As you can imagine, this is not always the case. When the girls have been victims of trafficking, there are times when family members have been the ones to encourage them or pressure them into vulnerable situations. There are times when family members are abusive or have too many mouths to feed and aren’t able to adequately support the girls. And some of our girls come from families who have sexually abused or raped them, and their homes are no longer safe places to return.

But a few weeks ago, one of our girls did get to go home.

Jane, letting go of her past.

Jane* was raped by her uncle a few years ago. She bravely decided to fight a court case against him, and in doing so, turned many of her family members against her. Most of her family urged her to drop the case, in fear that her uncle would stop providing financial support, or worse, make good on his threats to hurt her and anyone who attempted to help her.

Jane was living with her uncle for a few years, and he was sponsoring her education. Jane’s father lived nearby but was addicted to drugs and couldn’t hold down a stable job. Because of that he couldn’t afford to put her through school. Jane’s mother and father have been separated since she was a baby, and Jane had stayed with her father, while her mother had moved to Manila. Jane had not seen her mother since she was a toddler.

At the age of 16, Jane was still in 6^th grade because of the financial hardships of her family. It was that year that her uncle raped her. She became withdrawn and quiet in class, and her teacher asked her what was wrong. She confessed what had happened to her teacher, and her life began to take a turn for the worse. Her father turned against her, her siblings turned against her, everyone was angry at her for “making trouble.” She was referred to a government shelter for her protection.

Jane, surrounded by the other girls praying for her. 

When she was at the government shelter, her uncle and his supporters would drive by and shout threats at her, trying to scare her and demanding that she stop the case. They had the case down-graded by the court to a lesser charge and even reconstructed their house so that the evidence that Jane brought to the trial would be irrelevant. The government shelter has a policy that all girls must be kicked out at age 18, so Jane’s only supportive sister took her in at that time. But they were all fearful of her uncle, because he continued to threaten them. In desperation, Jane went back to the shelter, but they could not take her in. So they called us.

A few weeks after Jane was admitted her, she experienced severe stomach pain. She was taken to the hospital and immediately rushed into surgery for appendicitis! We are so thankful to have been able to provide that care for her. Her state social worker repeatedly told us how thankful she was that Jane was in our care, because most likely the government shelter would not have been able to pay for a surgery of that nature.

Singing the praise songs Jane picked out for her "funeral."

While Jane was in our care, she was able to work on some goals that she developed for herself. Her goals were to find ways to respond to her anger less aggressively, to decrease her negative thoughts about herself, and to improve her leadership skills. When we asked her how she would rate herself on those goals, she gave herself scores of 10/10, 9/10, and 10/10! She said that the support and care of the staff, and the skills that were taught here at MRH were very helpful to her, and because of them she was able to learn and grow in ways that she hadn’t been able to do at the other center.

Jane continued to suffer from minor medical complications in the months following her appendectomy. She also wrestled with the very big question of what to do about her case. No girl should ever be forced to make a decision like that, but she was the only one who could make it. Should she continue to fight a case, subjecting herself to the threats and ridicules that came with it, when the charges were now so minimal that any sentence granted would seem a slap in the face? Or should she continue to fight, no matter the cost?

Jane fought for a very long time.  For over two years she fought and saw the trial go from bad to worse. In the end, she decided that she wanted to leave it all behind, the trial, her father’s side of the family, Cebu, everything. She wanted to start over and look forward again to a hopeful future. Thankfully, when we contacted her mother, she wanted the same thing for Jane.

Jane, being added in her "funeral" by MRH's social worker.

On her last day at our house, we asked her if she wanted to have a funeral for her past life. She agreed wholeheartedly. She wrote down all the things that had plagued her and hurt her and confused her in the past years, took all of her journals and everything that reminded her of her past life, and burned them and buried the ashes in our yard. You can see the pictures below of this ceremony. The other girls and staff are in the background, singing a few praise songs that she requested for the occasion.

When Jane was taken home, her mother and half siblings were extremely supportive and even said if Jane wanted to keep fighting, they would find a way for her to get to the trial. They are also planning to send her back to school at the beginning of the new school year. Life is finally beginning to look hopeful again for Jane, and she’s so thankful to be reunited with a supportive and safe family.  Her past has been left at our home, safely buried away, and her new life has only just begun. 

Letting go, once and for all.