Kristoff

Nicholas Kristoff wrote an article called "Seduction, Slavery and Sex" in the New York times.

He wrote about a scenario that we often see over here in the Philippines:

In a typical case, a rebellious 13-year-old girl runs away from a home where her mother’s boyfriend is hitting on her. She is angry and doesn’t trust the police. She goes to the bus station in hopes of getting out of town — and the only person on the lookout for girls like her is a pimp, who buys her a meal, offers her a place to stay and tells her he loves her.

The next thing she knows, she’s having sex with four men a night and all the money is going to her “boyfriend.” If she voices reservations, he puts a gun in her mouth and threatens to blow her head off.

Her customers, often recruited on the Internet, may have no inkling that her actions are not completely voluntary. Some mix of fear, love, hopelessness and shattered self-esteem keep her from trying to run away.

Check out the article if you get a chance!

Our New Refuge

At the end of May, a team of architects made their way to Cebu and spend a few days with me. We drove around the city, listening to Glee (My current favorite soundtrack to life) and looking at building designs. This team, who call themselves Visioneering Studios, decided to tackle our project as their one pro bono project of the year, and gave their time and energy to developing our new facilities for free. I have to say, at the end of those 2 1/2 days, when they showed me their sketches, I was amazed. I can't believe they were able to design this is such a short period of time! It's beautiful, and they really worked to meet all of our anticipated needs.

(Our new Facilities!!)

The drawing above is what the team went back to California and developed. Isn't it gorgeous?? We have to have a very high fence for security reasons, but they were able to incorporate the building into it and make the front softer and less intimidating. That front building will be admin and counseling rooms, meeting rooms, library and kitchen. Five of the structures in the bottom area will be homes. They can house 6 girls each, and will be set up to accommodate a family style situation (which is much more therapeutic than a group home!). The other structure, is actually an open area that we will use for any kind of meetings or gatherings or programs. The best part is, the property is on a hill, so if people are standing in that open area, they will be able to see the ocean, even with the high wall at the bottom!

(A view of our property, just purchased this week! See the Ocean?)

At the top part of the property, outside of the gate, we will build another home, that can be a transition home. We are finding, with our clients, often times they are older, or have children, and don't fit the requirements for other shelters who offer education or other services. We want to fill that gap. We will build this transition home so that those who are not appropriate for other placements, and can't go home, will still have a chance to go to school, or get a job and save money, before going out on their own.

So much of recovery depends on feeling safe. Safety is accomplished by physical surroundings, structure, and relationships that are built. I have watched girls lives change by the relationships they have built with our staff here. And I'm so thankful that Visioneering drew this concept of safety and relationships into every aspect of their sketch. It just looks... peaceful. Don't you think?

Right now, the MRH board is in the process of fund raising to build this new facility. If anyone wants to help by giving or hosting your own fundraiser, please let me know! We desperately need it to so we can make this sketch a reality!

2010 TIP Report

2010 Trafficking in Persons Report is out. Check it out.

This is the 10th annual report. 177 countries were reported on and the US was one of those for the first time ever. The Philippines is still holding a "Tier 2 Watch List" status. Which means it is still one of the:

Countries whose governments do not fully comply with the TVPA’s minimum standards, but are making significant efforts to bring themselves into compliance with those standards, AND: a) the absolute number of victims of severe forms of trafficking is very significant or is significantly increasing; b) there is a failure to provide evidence of increasing efforts to combat severe forms of trafficking in persons from the previous year; or, c) the determination that a country is making significant efforts to bring themselves into compliance with minimum standards was based on commitments by the country to take additional future steps over the next year

For the full list of countries and placements for this years report click here

Death of a Child

Today I attended the funeral of Jomar Sagarino.

Jomar was found when he was 11 years old, but those who lived with him at Happy Horizons said he looked like he was six months old. Jomar was severely disabled, both physically and mentally, and had been rejected and hidden by his family members all of his life. I've been told he was found in something similar to a cage, swimming in h

is own feces. The doctor gave him two weeks to live. A few months later, the doctor said he would not make it past his twelfth birthday. That was 10 years ago.

When I worked at Happy Horizons (2002-2004), every kid had chores they had to do daily, and they would do them in rotations. The boys usually took turns caring for Jomar. Although he had grown in stature (he was probably around 4 feet tall), he needed help with everything: feeding, bathing, exercising his legs, changing his diapers, he was still that baby that had been found neglected.

It was amazing to watch the boys who cared for him. Often, at first, they would be annoyed if it was their turn to take care of Jomar. I could see it in thei

r faces. They would have to sit close to him, while he sat in his wheelchair and they had less free time. But eventually, their hearts would soften, their expressions would change.

Because Jomar was like a baby in other ways. He was sweet tempered, joyful to be around, and enjoyed life. He rarely cried, and he would laugh when you played with him. Sometimes, I would catch one of the boys, who wasn't on "duty," playing with Jomar, and Jomar would recognize his voice. Jomar, as only a baby can, brought joy to lives around him, and taught many children how to love well.

Jomar will be terribly missed, as evidenced by the number of people who were present at his funeral. But, as he finally uses his legs for the first time, by himself, and finds his voice, uninhibited, before God, I cannot wish him to be back here. I can only thank God for giving us a precious gift, a 10 year gift, that taught so many, so much.

Below: Some of the young men who have helped care for Jumar.

Two Week Check In

Well, I've been back to Cebu for 2 whole weeks, and it feels like a lifetime. I've never been so busy in all of my life... and I've had some pretty busy chapters in life.

Most of what I'm doing is pretty boring to write about on a blog. But there are a few things that might be interesting to the general public, so I'll try to recap them in a way that won't cause you to fall asleep.

First, "My Refuge House" is in the process of buying our own property! We have been renting a facility since conception, but we were given a very generous donation to buy land and have begun the process! Buying anything in the Phils has it's challenges, for those of us who are used to American consumerism, however, buying a piece of property here, is, well, unlike anything I've ever done before, and stock full of TIA moments.

For instance, when we interviewed people about the property, they said there was water there, no problem for that. What they meant was "The property next door has a well we can use anytime we want." So, we will have to dig out own well. But at least it will be good water! (At least, that's what we've been told...)

Also, there are permits for everything. And ridiculously high taxes. And notaries. And fees. And documents. And more documents. And stamps. And approvals. It's no wonder there are so many squatters in the the Philippines... buying property is expensive and hard!

On the up side... the property is beautiful! It's just over 6000 sq meters on a hill with a view of the ocean. And the price they gave us was really good because the title had been mortgaged. I'm really excited to move to the facility there.

... After we build it. Although we have the money to buy the property, we don't have all the necessary funds to built the house(s) yet. The board in the US is working hard on a campaign to get the money raised, but we could use your prayers!

Home

Today, I counted the number of flights I’ve taken across the Pacific, and for as much history as I have with Asia, nine doesn’t seem like that many. I am currently flying, for the ninth time, over the Pacific Ocean, back to my air mattress in Cebu. It’ll be nice to be “home.”

Home is such an interesting word.

People always ask me where I’m “from.” It’s such a complicated question. I grew up in multiple places, and have lived in numerous places across the globe in my adult life. And now, my family is spread out across the U.S., all in places I’ve never called “home.”

Although I have strong emotional ties to all the places I’ve lived in, when I visit those places again it’s the people I go to see. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve visited places just for the sake of seeing the place I lived. But when there is no one to see, no one that I still love and cherish, once is enough. And sometimes once is too much.

When I plan trips to the United States, I go where I have loved ones. My family and friends are spread all across the USA, and I can only see so many of them. But I always want to see as many as possible. And no matter what I think of the actual city they live in, I will go back again and again if the relationship is worth it to me.

I’m on my way to begin my official term as Clinical Director of My Refuge House. That sounds really important, but actually I just want to make a home. A home where girls who have been marginalized, taken advantage of, and abused can find Refuge. A home that cultivates healing relationships. A home that girls will keep coming back to, because they’ve found hope and joy that didn’t exist before.

Home is an interesting word.

Home is a good word.

Transition

They say you experience culture shock in different degrees every time you transition from one to the other. I've been back in the states for almost a week, and I have hardly felt a difference. It might be because I've been too busy to think about it, but this time, the US just feels... comfortable. Even the things that normally shock me (entire aisles of toilet paper in the grocery store, beautifully paved roads, meals without rice) didn't affect me too much.

It's been amazing to reconnect with friends and family, especially considering the very short warning I gave them! So this is a thank you to everyone who made time for me in their very busy schedules! You'll never understand just how thankful I am that you are in my life!

To those I didn't get a chance to see this time, I'm so sorry! I sure hope we can connect next time when I have more than a few hours in each place that I consider partially home.

Beginning, Middle and End

Tomorrow is officially my last day as an IJM Fellow. Instead, I have taken a position as the Clinical Director of "My Refuge House!" As most of you know, I've worked very closely with My Refuge House (MRH) for the past 9 months, training and developing their staff and writing protocol. Although I've very much enjoyed my time at IJM, I believe that I can do more good for the aftercare community in Cebu by taking this role and assisting the shelter to provide the best care possible for victims of trafficking.

I will be sad to leave IJM, I've grown very close to many of my co-workers here and enjoyed the work and the organization very much. But I'm excited to continue the partnership MRH has with IJM by taking on this role. I've committed to a two-year term, and I definitely covet your prayers as I move into this new role. If you would like to learn more about this organization please visit www.myrefugehouse.org and, of course, feel free to ask me any questions!

Thank you all for walking with me on this journey over the past nine months. I'm happy to say it hasn't ended yet! I hope you will continue to walk with me through the next two years as I collaborate with the MRH team to provide the best services and care possible to this vulnerable population.

Chatter

Here's an article that was written about me in September 2009. It was posted in "Chatter" which is a publication of Irving Bible Church.

http://www.chattermag.com/crystal-in-cebu/

Enjoy!

More Highlights

Some Highlights of my life in the past month...

Current Favorite Fruit: Mangostein

Current Favorite Cebuano Phrase: Pag-sure oi?! (Are you sure?!)

Favorite part of the past weekend: Borrowing a friend's motorbike and cutting my commute in half (there are essentually no rules for motorbikes, you can go around and through traffic and will always end up the first in line at the stoplights)

Most missed thing from the states: Mexican food

Most looking forward to: Jennifer (my wondeful co-worker from Fort Worth) coming to visit in April!

Most awkward moment: Being the candle-lighter in a wedding for someone I didn't know. My co-lighter wouldn't talk to me at first (he was "shy," a cultural phenomenon that occurs with 80% of people I meet), but then, when we starting walking, and for the rest of the ceremony, the 23 year old cousin of the groom wouldn't stop talking! There were seven bridesmaids and 7 flower girls. I've never seen so much pink satin in my life.

Lastest Island Adventure: Apo Island! 10 hour boat + 30 minute bus + waiting for 1 hour + 45 minute small boat= tiny island with no electricity and diving with sea turtles! Totally worth it :)

Saddest moment: When my camera shattered in the bottom of my bag and my MP3 player stopped working :(

Favorite work project: Managing 10 volunteers in the intake for the biggest IJM Cebu operation to date, and teaching Career Counseling to 30+ aftercare partners.